


What if i care about horseface

by AkashiroC



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Bottom Eren Yeager, Dead Marco Bott, Falling In Love, First Time, M/M, Minor Levi/Erwin Smith
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-08-02
Packaged: 2018-05-25 22:26:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 10,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6212581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AkashiroC/pseuds/AkashiroC
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Eren and Jean always fight, but after Eren saw Jean in a very bad state he starts to feel bad for him and decide to take care of him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Alone in the base (part 1)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so it's my first fanfic, and i already publish it on wattpad but i decid to publish it here. Excuse my english, i normally speak french so it's not perfect.  
> I hope you will enjoy this fanfic, tell me what you think ;)

**Eren's POV**

As we have nothing to do today, it was decided that we go out with all the survey corpse. We are all reunite, waiting for leave, but there still someone missing. That fucking horse face! And you know the best, they ask me to go pick him up. So i go upstairs and knock at his door

 _« Jean, get the fuck out we waiting for you »_ .... no answer.

I shut the door out, making so much noise that everyone downstairs have probably hear it.

_« I'm not coming » he whining_

He's still on his bed. His head in the pillow, and his sheet covering all his body. I close the door and come closer to the bed. I try to put him out of the bed and grabbing his arm.

_« Come on dude, everyone's waiting for you, so get out of your bed and dress up fast »_

He roughly take his arm out off my hands.

_« I say i'm not coming, so leave me alone! »_

I hear tears in his voice. I mostly hate him, but i can't leave him like this, i'm not a bastard like that. I sit on the bed and put my hand on his shoulder, but he rejected it. He turn his face on the pillow, letting just one eyes to see. His eye was red and full of tears.

_« I said i'm not .... »_

I put my hand on his cheek.

_« Are you ok ? whats going on? »_

He removed my hand

_« Like you care, just leave me, tell them i'm sick »_

I won't insist more, so i get out of the room and go back downstairs. When i arrive, no ones here. « Shit, i took too long, so they leave without us » What can i do now, i was alone in the base, with Jean crying on his bed. So i go back to his room.

_« What again! »_

_« They're gone, we are alone here »_

_« And? why are you in my room? just go to yours and leave me »_

I sit on his bed and force him to lay on his back. His eyes were red and had dark circle. His face full of tears. he look away, try to put his head on the pillow again.

_« Stop hiding on your bed and tell me what's going on »_

He stop moving, accepting to not be hiding by his pillow, but still look away.


	2. Alone in the basement (part 2)

**Jean POV**

Why the fuck he is here again, i tell him to leave me alone, but for once he look like he care of me. We always fight and argue, and it's annoy everyone. but today, i don't know why, he look worried about me.

_«Ok i get it, i won't hide anymore but take your hand off »_

He hesitate but finally remove it. I sit on my bed, cross-legged, and look down to my hand.

_« Do you really care or you just try to make a joke on me?_ »

_« I really care for once, so tell me »_

I just can't hold my tears anymore. It's flowing out of my eyes. I fall against Eren and put my head on his shoulder. He don't react first, but then he put his hands on my back.

« _I know it was month ago but...., i...i... when they tell we.... gonna go out with everyone, i.... »_ I take my breath _« I just think about him and..... i don't... want to have fun wi... without .... without him »_

Eren move his hand on my back, he try to pull me back for see my face, but i didn't move, so he give up.

_« You talk about Marco right ? »_

_« Ye...yeah.. »_

_« You didn't cry for month, and just a way out make you like this? »_

_« If it's for make fun of me you can go away »_

_« No, it's not what i mean i.. »_ He was interrupt

_« I cry every night, i had nightmare every night, but no one know, no one hear, i'm alone in this room, i had to share it with Marco but... he is...._ » i can't finish my sentence and i start crying again. Geez why am i crying in Eren's arm.

 

**Eren POV**

_« It's okay, just calm down »_

He take a break, try hard to stop crying, i feel his deep breath on my neck. He redress himself and finally look me in this eyes. His eyes are so wet. He wipe his face with his hand.

_« You wont tell the other about that ? »_

_« I promise »_

I wipe the last teardrop he forgot on his cheek with my thumb. He seem surprised but he didn't say anything. Why my heart beat so fast ?!

_« The others won't come back until a few hour, we are alone in here, so what do you want to do? »_ My question seems a little bit ambiguous, but he didn't relive it.

_« I'm Hungry »_

_« Ok let's go dinner »_

_« Go already, i dress up and i come »_

Yeah maybe it's better, he still in pajamas, a shirt and underpants, i didn't need ... and want to see that. I go out of the room, close the door and i head to the kitchen. He rejoin me a few minute later. He just put on a pants, and he still have bed hair. I was looking in the fridge, it was almost empty, but still some things to eat.

_« What do you want? salty ? sweeten? »_

_« I don't know »_

He come behind me to see what's in the fridge. He put his hand on the fridge's door near mine. God i can feel his breathe, again. My heart started beat fast again. What's going on with me? He take a yogourt and sit at the table and start to eat it.

_« That's all ? »_

_« yep, i'm not hungry, and there is nothing interesting to eat »_

He make a point, i take one too and sit in front of him. His eyes still red but he look a little bit better than earlier. We suddenly hear voice from outside, are they already back.

 

 


	3. Alone in the basement (part 3)

**Eren POV**

_« i'm going back to my room »_

He throw his yogourt and going out of the kitchen

_« Hey Jean wait ! »_

He turn back and look at me.

_« What ? »_

_« Do... do you want me to keep you compagnie this night? »_

What the fuck i am saying. I just ask if he wants me to come at his room at night, what he is going to think. And why am i so kind to him suddenly. Well, i can't be nasty on him after see him cry like that. He look at me strangely.

_« I... i mean you tell me about your nightmare, so maybe if there is someone else in the room you will sleep better »_

_« Maybe,... come if you want »_

________

**Jean POV**

Sleeping with me, what the fuck is he thinking? Ok i think he mean just sleep in the room, on the bed above me, but he act strange. I turn back on take the stairs to go to my room. Praying that he hasn't noticing that i turn completely red.

________

**Eren POV**

_« You're already back? »_

**Annie:** _« Yeah idiot, look how it's rain outside »_

I look at the windows, yeah it was raining like hell and i didn't noticed.

**Levi:** _« we haven't wait you, you were too long »_

_« Yeah i .... »_

**Mikasa:** _« What were you doing with Jean ? »_

**Armin:** _«Where is he in fact? »_

_« I try hard to wake him up, but i wouldn't. He is sick, and he just come for eat and then go back to his room »_

Yeah he isn't really sick, but i promise him to not tell about what i saw. Everyone go upstairs, to their room or in the shower. I go back to mine with Armin. So our room because we share it.


	4. Cry in the dark

**Eren POV**

**.........Later in the night ............**

It was something like midnight. I slowly get out of my bed, take some stuff for go to the shower tomorrow morning. Admin wouldn't ask why i'm not here when he wake up, because i always wake up early and go to the shower. I silently get out of the room and and head on Jean's room. I arrive in front of his door. I don't know why i'm here but... anyway. I slowly open the door.

 _« Jean, can i come? »_ I whispered

 _« Mmmmh, you're really here? »_ His voice was half asleep and he turn on his bed « Sure come »

I come in and close the door. The moon passing through the window enlighten the room so i can see where i'm going. I put my stuff on a chair and climb in the bed above Jean. **(PS: actually i talk about the bed who is above Jean, Eren is not above Jean himself xD)**

_« So, you're a little bit alone since Marco is ... you no ahem ... »_

_« Shut up, i need to sleep »_

I hear in his voice that he hold his tears. Fuck i'm an idiot, i'm made him cry.

_« Sorry, good night »_

**........ In the middle of the night .........**

I'm awakened by noises, actually Jean's voice. He talking in his sleep

_« Have you seen Marco ..... where he his .... Marco... MARCO where are you, answer me please »_

He probably make a nightmare. I get out of my bed and put my hand on his shoulder.

_« Jean »_

He lift up sharply.

_« Marco !!!! »_

He was sit on this bed, i put again my hand on his shoulder. He look at me and start to cry. He hook on my neck and put his head on me. he was shaking. I can feel that he breathe hardly, and feel his tears flowing on me. I put my hands around him and start to rub his back.

_« It's okay Jean, calm down, i'm here. Breathe and calm down »_

He relax a bit, stop shaking, but still crying. I push him back to see his face and look at him in the eyes.

_« You need to sleep now »_

_« I don't want ... if i sleep i ..... i will see it again ... i.. i don't want to ... see him ....please... i won't sleep again »_

_« You won't see him okay, just lay down i'll sleep with you okay »_

He seem surprised but he complied. His back face me. I lay down next to him and put my arms around him

_« Good night »_

He turn back and place his head in my neck. I still feel that tears flowing down his face

_« Good night, thank you »_

**................. The next morning ..................**

**Jean POV**

I slowly wake up. I still in Eren's arms. It's awkward. I move i little bit my legs and look at him. I also feel something against my knee. I also realize that i'm half on him and jump back.

_« Are you fucking hard???? »_

 


	5. The next morning

**Jean POV**

_« Are you fucking hard???? »_

_« It's normal thing, it's morning »_

_« don't joke on me, not that much »_

_« It's your fault, you rub your knee on it, on you were on me»_

_« Wait what, you're a fucking pervert, being that hard because of a knee »_

_« Shut up. i share my room with Armin remember? He is always here, you think i can touch myself often »_

Are we seriously talking about that. Anyway, i get out of the bed, take my stuff and go to shower.

_« Ok i let you the room, i go take a shower. Please have fun, i'll make sure i'll take my time »_

He look at me with big eyes and i get out of the room. It was early, so no one was already awake. I take my clothes off and go under the water. How can he be hard with just a knee, can't stop to think of that. Oh fuck it's become hard too. God why the shower have to be public one. I put the water on cold for calm down and i sit on the floor. Even finally came to the shower, i look at him.

_« What are you looking at? »_

I look down. I put my attention on the noises around, still have no one here

_« Thanks you, long time i didn't sleep that good »_

_« You're welcome »_

He go under the shower.

_« Will you come back tonight? »_

_« Yeah if you want »_

Finally the other start to wake up and come take a shower.

 **Armin:** _« Hey Jean do you feel better »_

_« Hum.. yeah a bit »_

**Connie:** _« Are you fall off the bed or something, i think i never so you awake so early »_

_« Yeah something like that »_

I switch off the water, dress up and return to my room. I saw tissues on the trash box. _« So he really did it »._ Anyway it wasn't my problem. I let my pyjama on the bed and go downstairs to eat. No one was here, except Sasha already eating.

 **Sasha:** _« Hey Jean! So you feel better. Come eating »_

I sat next to her and take a slice of bread. I stil not really hungry so i just eat it like that. The others came to eat, and i go back to my room, finishing to dress up and get ready for today's training.


	6. Every night until i fucked up

**.............. The night .................**

**Eren POV**

It was a long day and all my muscle hurts. It was already 9PM, so i eat fast, take a shower, put my pyjama on and go to bed. I try not to fell asleep until midnight, but it didn't work. I wake up suddenly, look at the hour. It's only 23h30. Admin is already sleeping. I quietly go out of the room and go to Jean's. The light still on and he was sitting on his bed.

_« Hi »_

_« Hi, so you really come again »_

_« Yeah »_

I was ready to go up on the bed but he was looking at me, his cheeks was red.

_« You want me to directly sleep with me »_

He look a his hands, embarrassed .

_« You're okay with that »_

I sit next to him

_« Yeah it's ok, so let's sleep »_

He put the light off and lay next to him. He come into my arms, just like yesterday.

_« Don't come on me this time »_

_« Shut up, like i would »_

No tears this time, but i still feel his breathe on my neck. It's really strange to sleep with him in my arms. This night we didn't wake up until the morning. When i woke up his head still on my shoulder, but he was only next to me.

_« Jean, it's morning, wake up, i have to go on the shower or Armin will ask questions »_

_« mmmh... »_ He look at me and turn on the bed « Thanks you, long time i didn't sleep an entire night »

_« No problem, i'll be back tonight, see you later »_

He didn't answer, i think he falls asleep again.

**............. Two weeks later............**

**(Because i'm lazy and i have nothing interesting to make happen in this time)**

It was already two week that i sleep with Jean and he seems to really feel better. I think that sleep more help a lot. I was about to leave the room but Armin stop me.

_« Where are you going ? »_

_« I .. go to the toilet »_

_« With all this stuff? »_

_« Yeah i ... ahmm.. »_

_« I see you go every night, where are you sleeping? »_

_« I... »_

I sit on his bed

_« Can you keep a secret »_

_« Sure »_

_« Jean make nightmare at night, because he is alone in his room. I sleep on the bed above him, so he can sleep better »_

_« oh.. »_

_« You want tell anyone promise, even Jean or he'll kill me »_

_« I promise »_

_« Thanks, good night Armin »_

_« Good night »_

I finally arrive in Jean's room, like always he wait for me. But this time he didn't wearing a shirt, just his underwear.

_« Don't look at me like that, it's fucking hot here »_

He was right, i get off my shirt and we go to sleep like usual. When i wake up, Jean was looking at me, still next to me, laying. I don't know how or what but i find myself kissing him. My lips was on his. He jump back and hurt his head on the wall. It makes me some time to realize what i just do. I jump out the bed, take my stuff and run to my room. When i arrive in i close the door and sit down on the ground. Armin was looking at me.

_« Eren are you ok? you're all red, what are you doing here? »_

_« I .. ahm... Jean and i just argue like always »_

I smile at him. He wasn't really convinced but he smile back at me.

_« Let's go eat so. »_

_« Yeah i'm coming »_


	7. What's that feel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, already more than 200 hits, thanks you guys ^^i hope you like my fanfic. I'd like to see some comment, to know what you think ^^.  
> Sooo i let you read this chapter, have a good day /night / evening ....anyway ;)

**Jean POV (let's go back a few minutes before)**

I just wake up and look at Eren sleeping. He is not annoying like this. He open his eyes and looks back at me. And he ... what the fuck, are those lips on mine. I jump back and hurt the wall. I rub my head «Outch » I will say somethings but he just run out off the room. i sat correctly on my bed. I touch my lips with my thumb. So it's what a kiss feel like. I never kissed anyone before, i never thought that my first would a guy but even less Eren. We always fight and argue and even if he take care of me for some week now, we still fight and yell at each other. I'm confused, i don't know what to think, he run so fast. I wouldn't yell at him, even if it was weird. I still feel his soft lips on mine. I went out of my mind, take my clothes and go to the shower, He wasn't here, and when i went for eat he finish his meal fast and return upstairs. He totally avoiding me.

 **Sasha** : _« Hey Jean come on, you can sit here »_

_« Thank you »_

After eating i go to the training. Even totally avoid me all the day. I try many time to catch his eyes but he always look away. I wait him at night, but he didn't come, so i haven't sleep. The next days was the same. And i still can't sleep. Some time i fell asleep, but not for long, awaken by a nightmare. After something like on week, i was just totally dead. This evening we had to wash the dishes and kitchen. Everyone was already on their room, so we were alone. He stil look away.

 _« Eren »_ no answer.

_« Eren stop avoiding me! »_

He didn't say anything and continue to wash the table. I grab his hand and force him to face me.

_« Would you stop ignoring me, it's annoying, and i didn't sleep for like 5 days »_

He look down. I grab his chin and look him in this eyes. he was totally red, and i think i am too.

 _« Don't look down idiot. you think you can kiss someone and run away like and never spoke to him again_ »

_« I... i'm sorry i wouldn't .. wait what? you're not mad at me »_

I release him and finish to wash the table

_« No i'm not, will you come tonight? »_

_« Ahmm... i .... yeah i'll come »_

_« See you later »_

I give him a little kiss on the cheek and went directly to my room


	8. Discover each other (part 1)

**Jean POV**

He come some minutes later. Armin probably don't already sleep, but he know that Eren sleep in my room so he doesn't need to wait for him to sleep. I was sitting on the bed and he sit next to me.

_« Eren... this kiss... you....ahmm... really want it ? I mean, you knew that you kiss me or you were just half asleep and think it was someone else? »_

He seems really embarrassed, and he wasn't looking at me.

_« I .... don't know. I just realize that i was kissing you and freak out. I... »_

_« My real question is ... you regret it or will you.... do it again? »_

I realize what i just said and turn completely red

_« Just forget about that »_

I hide my head in my hands. He remove my hands and put his lips against mine. The kiss is different from the first. This times he moves his lips, it's more passionate. I follow the move and he try to open my mouth. He put his tongue in my mouth and play with mine.

_______

**Eren POV**

I stop my kiss and look at Jean.

_« I do it well? »_ i ask

_« ahmm, i... »_

_« You can tell me that i'm not »_

I smile at him

_« That's not it, it's just ... you're my first so, i can really tell... but i loved it »_

He turn completely red and look away.

_« It was my first too »_

We were silent for a few minute. Looking away.

_« We have to wake up early tomorrow so let's sleep »_

We lay on the bed, like ever time before we stop. His head on my neck. I turn off the light, but the moon still lighten the room. I can feel his breathe on my neck, like always, but it feel different this time. He was breathing harder. He start to kiss my neck, softly. He kiss it more and more and he lick it.

_« mmmmh ... Jean what are you ..mmmh »_

He stop

_« You seem to like it »_

_« Shut mmmmh »_

He bite my ear.

_« Shut up mmmh»_

_« You can't stop moaning right? »_

He was looking at me

_« You don't need to say it out loud idiot »_

I start kiss him again and go above him. I let his lips go and i was sat on him.

_« What are you doing ? »_

_« I don't really know »_ I smile at him.

_« You're hard »_

_« And who's fucking fault? ... And you are too! »_

_« You don't need to say it! »_

_« You say it first, and stop yell at me »_

_« Come here idiot »_

He grab my shirt and pull me to him. We have a long and passionate kiss, with tongue obviously. I hear him moan in every tongue mouvements and feel that he breathe harder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey hey hey Hot things in the next part :B


	9. Discover each other (part 2)

**Jean POV**

He puts his hands under my shirt and i put mine on his neck. I don't know what and why i'm doing it. With him, with a boy, why? But it feel so good i can't stop myself. His hands go to my chest and pull off my shirt, so i pull off his too. He stop the kiss and look at me.

_« Are you sure? »_ He asked me

He look as afraid as me. I never thought i would go so far with a guy and still less with Eren. And the fact that i never gone so far with anyone scare me even more.

_« I'm ... ahm i guess, i don't really know, i.... never do this before .. »_

_« Me neither »_

_« I'm mean, even with a girl .. i didn't »_

He look at me surprised.

_« You really think i already do it with a girl? «_

_« I don't know, maybe you... »_

He stop my sentence with a finger on my mouth.

_« I didn't, you ... will be... my ... first »_

He kiss me again and i felt his hands go down to my hips and remove my underwear. He throw it somewhere in the room. I look away, red as ever. It's so awkward, to be naked, under him, as he looks at me.

_« That's not fair »_ I said very embarrassed

_« What? »_

_« If i'm the only one naked...., on stop staring at it like that »_

I was probably red as ever and i was looking at the wall, avoiding his eyes. I tried to pull off his own underwear but he stop me.

_« Why ?? that's not fair, take it off too »_

He avoid my eyes and become really red.

_« Take it off come on, i'm naked, it's your turn. And it's not like i haven't see you in the shower»_

_« You looked?! »_

_« No, i mean ... »_

_« It's not the same in the shower, so i won't take it off »_

_« Really ... why ? I'm already naked, come on »_

_« You're ***** »_ He whispered **( Here the *** mean that he speak so low that Jean didn't hear him)**

_« What did you say? »_

_« You're ... bigger »_

_« Oh come on, just for that »_

Then i forced and pull out his underwear. Maybe i was, but i didn't really care about it. I was so confused about the situation and so excited, the size wasn't the priority in my mind.

_« Eren ... look at me »_

I pulled him against me and start a deep kiss, at the same time i feel mine rubbing his. We let a moan go out until we kissing. He stop the kiss and sat ...again.

_« What this time? »_

He becomes even more red (don't know how it's possible at this state but anyway)

_« i....... don't really know... what to do »_

Oh god he is so cute powerless like this, geez i sound like a girl. But like i know more than him. I haven't even kissed a girl, so what am i supposed to know about two boys. I sat too, he still on me, looking down.

_« Me neither, maybe we can just do what we do alone to the other »_

He was probably as afraid as me. What if i come too soon, he will laugh at me... i don't want that. It's really awkward to be naked with him sat on me.

 


	10. Discover each other (part 3)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUUT is here, it's short, hope you'll like it :D

**Jean POV (Yup i take the last sentence of the previous chapter)**

He was probably as afraid as me. What if i come too soon, he will laugh at me... i don't want that. It's really awkward to be naked with him sat on me. Anyway, i'm not a kid anymore, i can do it. I wrap by hand on his cock and start to move slowly. I still avoid my eyes, so i put his chin with my other hand and force him to look at me. Then i kiss him. My tongue explored all of his mouth, and i can feel that he moan more and more when i go faster with my hand. I stop the kiss because i was really out of air. I take a deep breathe. I was moaning a little too, even if he don't touch me. I think he will start to touch me too but i didn't let him the time and take mine in the same hand as his, so like that i can rub them against the other.

_« Jean ....mmmmmh..... more »_

I take his lips again and go faster and faster. I've never felt this way before, it's so good, i feel it through my whole body. This time Eren stop his kiss for breathe. He breathe really hard.

_« Jean..i'm gonna .... »_

_« Me too, just let it out »_

I put my arm in his back to take him closer to me and start a kiss. We cum on our stomach at the same time with a long and loud moan. I seriously hope that nobody hear that. I just fell on the bed, and Eren fell on me, his head on my shoulder, half on me. We were totally out of air, and breathing really hard.

_« Jean i... it felt really good »_

_« Yeah »_

I clean our stomach with tissu and throw them. Then we fall asleep quickly, with the hard training today and this pleasure time we were totally dead. This time he was the one who sleep in my arms. I kiss him on the forehead.

_« Good night Eren »_

_« Good night Jean »_

When i wake up the next morning, Eren was still sleeping. I get up silently and go to the shower." What did i do, why... why all of this happened. Why i kissed him again, and don't just stop all of this even before it's start. What's that feeling, why me, why him." I was totally lost, what can i think about all of this, what if someone discover it. Was it bad or not, i don't know what to think about all of it, maybe i wouldn't have done this. I hope that when i go back to my room Eren will not be there, i'm not really ready for face him after last night.


	11. Guilty

**Eren POV**

When i waked up, Jean wasn't in the room. He probably already go to the shower, even if it's so early, or maybe ... he regrets what we did last night. I erase that of my mind, no it can't be, he seems to really enjoyed it. I get up and go to my room before go to the shower, maybe it's better to not see him now. He was't on the dinning room when i went downstairs.

**....... Later, waiting for entrainement starting.........**

He was here for the entrainement, but he totally avoid me. What have i done, did i do something wrong last night.

**Jean POV**

I feel bad today, my head hurt, my heart hurt, i'd rather be stay in the bed.

**Erwin:** _"For today you will work by team of two. Pick someone you really trust, you best friends or anyway."_

It was too much for me, i feel tears running down my face. I just run away, no matter if i'll be punish for skipping training, i don't care anymore.

**Eren POV**

I saw Jean running away.

**Armin:** _« Go after him »_

**Eren:** _« Why ? »_

**Armin:** _« Because you're probably the only one who know why he runs away. »_

**Mikasa:** _« Wait, what ? »_

**Armin:** _« Forget about that Mikasa »_

**Eren:** _« Fuck, i'll go »_

**Mikasa:** _« Eren »_

Mikes would come after me but gladly Armin stop her. I have to thanks him before. I run after Jean, i don't know why and how, but i know exactly where he goes. Like i think, he was in front of the little wood near the base, where he disperses Marco's ashes. He was lending on his knees, crying.

**Jean:** _« I'm sorry Marco, forgive me. I love you, i always loved you, why are you gone. I wouldn't disgust you, i promise i won't do those thing anymore, it was just a moment of lost, please forgive me. »_

I go closer to him and put my hands on his shoulder. He turns his head and look up at me, his eyes and face completely wet.

_« Eren..? Since when you ...»_

_« You know, i think he wants to see you happy. Even if it's not with him, even if it means be with another men. I think he don't care if you are happy, it's all that he wants, and if you're happy he will be too, because he can see you smile and he know he'll always have a place in your heart »_

He stood up and hug me, head on my shoulder. I wrap my arms around him.

_« Thanks you Eren »_

He looked at me and then kiss me

_« Thanks you for all »_

_« We better go back to training or we will be in big trouble »_

_« Yeah »_

He wipe his tears and we get back to the training.

**.................Evening, while eating ..................**

We were eating, like usually, when Erwin come in the dinning room.

**Erwin:** _« Eren, Jean, in my office NOW »_

We looked at each other and follow Erwin. We are in big big trouble. We'll probably be punished for one month or more, forced to do horrible tasks. We arrive in the office, Levi was here too, sit on Erwin's desk.

**Erwin:** _« Sit please »_

We sit on the chairs in front of the desk

**Jean:** _« We are really sorry for skipping training, it's my fault, i felt bad and.... »_

Erwin stop him.

**Erwin:** _« You're not here for that »_

**Levi:** _« I followed you when you leave the training »_

Oh god we are in bigger trouble than i thought. We will be burn alive, send to jail, what will we do.


	12. It can't be real

**Jean POV**

God what are they going to do at us. We were totally paralyzed.

 **Erwin:** _« Relax, we're not here to punish you for that, we just want to talk with you »_

Yeah, a talk, i'm totally relax now. Erwin sit on the chair in front of us. Levi still on the desk. What will happen to us. Someone save us please.

 **Eren:** _« so you....ahmm see us ... »_ He was cut by Levi

**Levi:** _« Kissing yes »_

Crap crap crap. We're totally dead.

 **Erwin:** _« We will just ask you to be more ....discreet »_

 **Jean:** _« Wait what, you're not gonna kill us or something »_

 **Erwin:** _« hahaha no, we don't care about that, but other people will, so just do this on our room, where nobody can see you. If you want i can transfer Eren to your room Jean. »_

 **Jean:** _« I have to tell that i'm totally lost here »_

**Eren:** _« Yeah, me too »_

I'm probably dead, i'm just dreaming, or i'm just unconscious, but it can't be real.

 **Erwin:** _« We know what's like, to love another man, so we will talk about that with you, and tell you to just, not show you in front of someone. »_

We were totally shocked. We looked at them, like it's not true. No it really can't be. Levi stood up and come to Erwin, kissing him on the lips. No no no, i'm dead, it's not true, or i'm still sleeping, i just sleeping since morning, i never get up and...

 **Erwin:** _« So, Eren will you be transfer in Jean's room? »_

**Eren:** _« euh....ahm ye....yeah »_

Levi was now sit on Erwin's lap.

 **Erwin:** _« Nice, i will announce it as your punishment for the other, and if you need something, or talk about you two, just came at me, i will tell you when i have time to see you in my office. And obviously, all of that stay between us. »_

 **Eren &Jean**: _« Ye....yeah... tha...thanks »_

We return in dinning room, everyone stop eating and look at us when we arrive.

 **Erwin:** _« So, as punishment for leaving training, Eren will be transfer into Jean's room. And they will be forced to support each other »_

**Eren POV**

I still don't know what happen, like, nothing of it was real. I return sit next Mikasa and Armin.

 **Mikasa:** _« Eren i can go talk to Erwin, it's not your fault, he can change his mind and.. »_

 **Eren:** _« NO, i have to accept my punishment, i'll be ok, don't worry »_

 

**.................Later in Armin &Eren's room .................**

I just finish packing my stuff and was ready to change room

 **Armin:** « Will you explain me all of this, did you ask to change room or what, what's with Jean? »

 **Eren:** « Nothing, i have to go »

Yeah he totally know that i'm lying, but he won't ask me more, that's why he is my best friends, he knows when stop asking thing, he know when he don't need to know. I arrive in Jean's room. I closed the door, and just have the time to put my things on the floor before he pinned me to the wall and start to kiss my neck.

_« Jean, what are you... »_


	13. Pleasure

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know you waited this chapter, so enjoy

**Eren POV**

He licked my neck reach my earlobe and nibble it.

 _« I want you »_ He whisper to my ear.

It make me shiver.

**Jean POV**

I want him, i want him so much. I put my hands under his shirt, still licking his neck.

_« Jeaaaan...mhhm, your hands are cold »_

That was not my problem for now. I remove his shirt and throw it somewhere in the room. I turn him, now i'm the one who is back to the wall, and push him in the bed. I'm on top of him, and i get back to his neck. I start to feel his member grow against my leg. It start to become tight in my pants too. My tongue follow the line of his body, go to his collarbones. He moans a little under my licks. I continue my way to his chest, start teasing one of his nipple. He let out a whimp.

_«Don't lick here »_

I stop, looking up at him

_« But you seem to like it no? »_

He cover his face with his arm and blush.

_« Shut up »_

I get back to the nipples teasing, taking care of one with my tongue and the other with my fingers. He shiver and moan, he really seems to like it.

 _« Jean ...you ...teasing too much »_ He whispered between two heavy breathing.

My hand start to go down his body, reaching his pant. I open his belt, unbutton and unzip his pants. I get back to explore his body with my tongue, following his six pack line down his stomach. He shiver.

_« Jean it tickles »_

I smile and continue my exploration. I kiss his V line, my hand reaching his underwear, and started to rub through it. He was already really hard.

_« Jean please ... more, stop teasing »_

I smile. I want him to beg me for more, i want to make him beg for cum. Yeah i'm a bad boy. My pants become really too tight, so i get up and remove it. I also remove Eren's pants and underwear. I go back on top of him. He was red.

_« Don't look at me like that Jean »_

_« But you're so cute »_

_« Shut uuuuuuup »_ He moans until i start touching his crotch.

I return to his waist with my tongue, licking his stomach, but keep my eyes in his. He's bitting his hand for hide his moan.

_« Please don't transform to a titan »_

_« I wont »_

_« So stop bite yourself, i want to hear you »_

I started to lick his tips. He slightly arch his back and bite his lower lips. I stopped for lick my finger. Eren looked at me.

 _« What are you doing? »_ He say, breathing hard

_« Relax princess »_

He looked at me askance. I take my finger out of my mouth and place it at his entrance.

_« Jean waiiii... »_

I push slowly my finger in.

 _« It hurts »_ he said in pain.

I hear a little fears and tears in his voice but continue to push in slowly. I feel him shiver and i stopped moving. I go above him without taking out my finger. He was shivering a lot, not from pleasure or excitement, but from fear, i see tears running down is face. I put it out.

_« Eren are you ok? »_

_« I ... Jean can we just not go further please, don't do more than this, not more than one finger »_

I hug him tight

_« Yeah sure, come on don't cry, if you don't want or want something just tell me »_

_« I'm ... i'm sorry »_

_« No, i'm the one who have to apologize, i do it too fast without asking, i'm sorry »_

_« It's ok, just ... let's continue »_

_« ok, want my finger back or no? »_

_« Yeah... but .... be more ...gentle please ... i never touched here »_

_« I promise »_

I kissed him on the lips, gently and get back to his lower part.

_« Will you put it in your mouth ? ... i mean my ... »_

I looked up at him and smile

_« You want to? »_

_« Yeah ... please ... if ... if it's ok for you »_

_« Sure, what you want first? »_

_« Don't ...don't care »_

I place my finger at his entrance.

_« Try to relax okay? »_

_« Yeah »_ He answer nervously

I slowly start to put it in, millimeter by millimeter.

_« It ..hurt »_

_« Want me to stop? »_

_« No it's okay »_

I continue my way in, and start to lick his cock, trying to relax him. He whine Damn he is really tight, i know he never touch here before but i didn't expect that will be so much tight. My finger was almost full in, so i push the rest of it. Eren winced.

_« Are you ok ? can i start to move »_

_« ye...yeah »_

I wrapped my mouth around his cock, and start moving my finger in and out slowly. He let out some moan, between pain and pleasure. I curled a little bit my finger in and hear him groan loudly. I let his dick go out of my mouth.

_« I think i found your good spot »_

_« Please Jean don't stop »_

I continue to move my finger, hitting his sweet spot in each thrust. I put my mouth around his dick and suck hard. He grab my hair, forcing me to suck deeper.

_« Jean faster please »_

He arched his back and tilting his head in the pillow. He moans really loudly, i hope none will hear him. He released my head and grab the sheets instead.

_« Jean aaaaah, i can't anymore .... get off i'm...cum...ming »_

I didn't get off, continue to suck and thrust into him. He cum in my mouth. I raised my head and pull out my fingers, making him shiver one last time.

 _« Jean, i told you to get off, i'm so sorry »_ He tells very embarrassed

I spit what's in my mouth on his stomach

_« It's okay Eren, if i didn't want you to come in i'll remove my mouth »_

I lay by his side and he hug me, his head on my chest. He raised his eyes to me, descending his hand to my lower part.

_« It's your turn now »_

_« You don't need to, i think you're enough tired for tonight »_

_« But you're already so much hard »_ He said, rubbing through my underwear _« Look at your bonner, it wouldn't be fair if »_

I stop him with a kiss.

_« If you stop rubbing it will go down by itself »_

He wasn't listening, he pull my thing out, it make me winced. He started to rub up and down until kissing all my body, going ahead my stomach.

_« Hey you're not forced to do the same that i made to you »_

_« I don't, don't worry no finger for you, i think if you did it to me means that you won't be the bottom »_

I blushed.

_« But you're not forced to suck me »_

He didn't answer and pull it in his mouth, making me moan loudly.

_« Ereen, if you...aaaah, contiiii....nuue like this i will aaaah »_

He sucked faster and teasing my nipples with his fingers. It's so good, i can't hold loud groan and my back was arching.

_« Eren pull out, i'm cummm...ing »_

I hadn't time to finish my sentence that all go out. Gladly he removed his mouth just in time. He lay on me, completely tired. We were panting and breathing hard.

_« Jean... »_

_« Yeah »_

_« i... ahm ...thanks you, that was good »_

_« Yeah really good »_

I kissed him on the head. I caught the blanket for covering us and wrap my arms around him.

_« Good night »_

_« Good night »_


	14. Embarassed

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well a little fun in my fanfic (basically Erwin laugh at Jean xD ) i'll upload the chapter 15&16 when i'm back from my con (Aka monday) and i still need to finish to write the chapter 17 (aka the last one)

**Jean POV**

So, i was going to Erwin's office. I ask him this afternoon if he had time today because i have some embarrassing question to ask him, about me and Eren, obviously. I knocked at the door.

 _« Yeaaah »_ I heard.

I opened the door for see, i think, the MOST awkward think in the world. Levi, chest on the desk, pants on his ankles. Erwin behind him, probably with his pants open, one hand one Levi's head and slamming into his ass. I stayed here like it seems to be hours, but it was probably only some seconds, because the moment Erwin turn his head i get out of the room, closing the door and laying against it. I stayed against the door, paralyzed, hearing Levi's loud moan and Erwin's thrust. Then i hear a last loud moan, belt and zipper noise, then footsteps. The doors open behind me, and i totally fall into Erwin. I jumped back, looking at my feet, playing awkwardly with my hands.

_« So...so..so..rry »_

_« No it's.... my fault... bad timing and ... anyway come in »_

I hesitate but finally come in. And i sit in the couch. I just can't look at him, or at the desk, the image of the two of them fucking still in my mind. Levi come out of the bathroom and give a kiss on Erwin's cheek.

_« Have to go, paperwork to do, see you later »_

_« See you later »_

Erwin smile at him and Levi leave the office. I still avoid Erwin's eyes.

_« Jean i'm really sorry for that ....ahm what do you want to talk about? »_

_« You say that.... ah if i had any question about Eren or me ... i mean us .... our relationship and ahm, that i can ask you »_

_« Yeah you can, what's the problem? »_

Geez how can he be so relaxed in a situation like this. I just saw him and Levi .... I shook my head, trying to erase this image of my mind. I'll never be able to ask my question. I squirm my hands on my lap, try to calm down and formulate my question, or rather exposing my problem, or .... i don't know really. Why i'm here, i should never come, i'm so stressed.

_« We try ... hmm well i hurt him and ... i don't want to but i want to ... »_

Erwin head up at his desk and open a drawer and then come back to his sit. I didn't look up, because i'm nervous and afraid. He hold me a bottle and some ... candy ?

_« What's that ? and why did you give me sweets, i'm not twelve »_

He laughs and put them on the table.

_« That's cute, you're so innocente »_

I didn't understand why he says that but i become totally red. Did i make a fool of myself in front of my superior, since the fact that i'm here is already weird.

 _« You »_ He tries his best to stop laughing _« You, oh god.... well it can be candy but more like adult's candy »_

I cocked an eyebrow.

 _« It's lube and condom »_ He said, trying to breath straight

Oh god, i widened my eyes. Geez i'm so stupid. I'm embarrassed as hell and i'm probably more red than the red itself by now.

 _« Did i need to explain you how to use it? »_ he asks in an amused tone

_« No... no oh god no it's ok »_

Where i get myself into, i'm so stupid, i look like a five years old child.

_« You can take it, and go slow with him, one finger after another, and you can come ask if you need more »_

Am i really talking about that with my superior. God i just want to die, or hide myself in a hole and never get out.

_« Tha... thanks you i guess »_

I take the _"things"_ and put them in my pocket, no way i would walk in the hall with that in my hands. I get out of the office and i hear him launch me a _"You're welcome"_ and then i head to my room.


	15. You need to learn

**............20 minutes ago, Eren and Jean's room...............**

**Eren and Armin are sit on Eren's bed**

**Eren POV**

_« So, what about you and Jean? »_

_« What me and Jean ? there is nothing ... »_

_« Come on, you already tell me that you comfort him at night, now what's between you two »_

_« Is it that obvious »_

_« I don't think it is for everyone else, but for me yes, come on Eren i'm your best friend right? »_

_« Yeah of course »_

_« Tell me so »_

He says that with stars in his eyes. How can he be so much interested by what me and Jean did. And how the fuck can i tell him what we did, it's too embarrassing, and if Armin hates me because i'm ......yeah well gay i guess. We do ... thing with Jean and i like it, obviously, but i don't know if we are together or not. I ..... i have to admit that i kinda ... like him. But no way Jean can know that, i'm sure he just have fun and don't love me. He probably still love Marco, and will always love him, i'm probably just a distraction....

_« Eren, are you still here »_

Armin waved his hand in front of me.

_« Sorry, i was just ... thinking »_

_« So... you and Jean ... Are you, together ? »_

_« I don't really know, we ... make thing ....in bed ... but i'm not » He cuts me_

_« You and Jean had Sex?! »_

_« Don't speak so loud Armin please »_

_« Sorry .... so how it was ? »_

_« Armin! ... and we didn't had sex, i mean not entirely »_

_« Please please tell me, how it was ? Is he good ? What did you two do? »_

_« Armin, please stop it »_

_« Ok ok ... but you have to tell me one day, and just answer this one: Did you liked it »_

_« Yeah ... »_

_« So, you're gay? »_

_« I guess .... you wont hate me for that? »_

_« Of course not »_

He hugged me and at the same time the door open and Jean came in.

_« Oh, hi Armin .... maybe i have to come back later »_

_« No no ... i'll leave »_

Armin get up and go to the door. He looked at me and give me a wink.

_« Have fun »_

And then he close the door. Jean looked at me.

_« What was that »_

_« He is my best friend, we always hug like this, are you jealous? »_

_« No way ... and i meant the *Have fun* things »_

_« Oh ... he kinda knows for us »_

_« What ??!!! why did you tell him? »_

_« He guess himself, i just confirme the thing .... and he wont tell anyone so relax »_

_« He better not to »_

_« Where were you by the way »_

_« In Erwin's office »_

_« Wow you look traumatized, you made him mad and he yell at you or something »_

_« No no, i ask for see him today, so he tell me to come at his office later, and i came in the hour he gave me but ..... »_

_« But ...? »_

_« I kinda saw him and .... Levi »_

_« They were .... »_

_« Yeah .... »_

_« So you didn't see Erwin after that ? »_

_« Oh yeah i did, it was the most embarrassing discussion of my life »_

_« And what was about? »_

_« Well, he gave me that »_

He put a bottle and some bundle on the nightstand.

**Jean POV**

Eren looked the thing i put on the nightstand with wide eyes.

_« Well, it's not candy »_

He turn his gaze to me.

_« Yeah i know what it is Jean .... why i would think it's ........ Oh god don't tell me you ask him why he gaves you candy ? »_

I aquiesce. Eren start to laugh.

_« And, and how he react? »_

_« Just like you, now stop laughing at me, i'm enough embarrassed for today »_

He take deep breathes, stop laughing and took my hands in his.

_« So you take those for me ... i mean us »_

I look at the ground, becoming red.

_« Yeah ... i just tell him that i ...don't want to hurt you and .... i don't know how it works and .... yeah he gave me those »_

_« And he didn't explain you how to use it ? »_

_« No »_

Eren get up and take me closer, he kiss me on the lips and then whisper to my ears:

_« Well.... i think i have to explain you »_


	16. The first time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well well well, its the chapter before the last. I'm sad it's almost finished, but i run out of idea xD. Don't worry i'll write another Erejean fic, i started it already, and if i change the beginning and write it better maybe i'll be motivated to continue.
> 
> The last chapter will maybe take a little bit longer to publish, because i didn't finish to write it
> 
> Good reading

**Jean POV**

_« Well.... i think i have to explain you »_ He says in a husky voice

This sent me shiver down my spine, heading right to my cock and making me hard in one second. Shit, he totally controls me. Wait wait wait, he'll show me ? Does it mean i have to be bottom ?! No waaaaay. He put his hand under my shirt and started to play with my nipples. OK ok, anyway i don't care here, i just want to fuck. I pull off my shirt and push him on the bed.

_« heeey »_ he protests.

I tossed off his shirt somewhere in the room and attack his chest. I'm just sitting on the right place, our two hard member are rubbing against each other through our clothes. He quickly regain the top, so quickly that i didn't had the time to protest. He removed our pants in the process.

_« You ...you want to top »_

He smirks at me

_« Maybe .... you have a problem with that? »_

_« No, it's just i'm ... well ... i »_ I'm fucking stressed now

_« Relax i'm joking »_

_« But, you're on top of me and .... »_ I don't know if this situation is more embarrassing than the discussion with Erwin or not

_« I can be a bottom and being in top of you, you know »_

_« Yeah you ... »_ He cuts me with a deep kiss

**Eren POV**

Kissing him like this just keep me remembering how much i ... i ... love him, Yes fuck i admit it, i fall in love with Jean Fucking Kirstein, who would belive that ? no one, not even me. But i have to keep it for myself and it hurts. I felt Jean pulls me away. Wait what, did i make something wrong, did i thought aloud ? ... Oh well we were out of air right, i have to stop thinking too much.

_« Eren are you ok? »_

_« Yeah yeah don't worry .... everything's ok »_

_« You're sure you want to do that, i mean, i won't ... like .... force you you know »_

_« I'm ok Jean, i want to, really. Now give me your hand»_

I took his hand in mine and then start two of his fingers. He whimpers and closed his eyes, and i didn't know i could make him like this by just licking his fingers. I stopped a moment to remove our boxers. I gave a few more licks and then i grab the bottle of lube and put some on his fingers. He open his eyes, surprised of the coldness of the liquid. I guide his hand to my ass and looked at him in the eyes.

_« Just .... just go slowly ok? »_

I released his hand and hide my head in the crook go his neck. I know he already put one in once, but i'm still stressed about the whole penetrating thing. He start to rub against it and then he slowly push in, and i froze, i fucking froze, i'm a idiot, why i reacting like that.

_« Eren relax »_

I didn't move. He forced me to look at him with his free hand. I'm embarrassed and stressed, i don't know what to do.

_« Look at me, take a deep breath and relax, where is your all dominating mood you had just before »_

_« It's ... it's juuuust arggg »_

He pushed his finger a little further and start to lick my neck.

_« Focus on what my mouth is doing ok ? and breath »_

And i do as he told, like this his finger slid more easily and without me realizing he was entirely in and i unconsciously started to rock my hips against his hand. I realized it when i eared myself moan.

_« Jeannn nhmmmm give me more ... ple....please »_

He pull out a little bit to slide a second finger in. It's not painful, it's just ... weird. And for a second i just think of how stupid my position can be. I have my face hide on his neck un my ass up in the air to give him the access to my .... well you know, but his fingers scissoring inside me quickly remind me of what i had to focus on. My moans became louder and even jean start to make some noises too, even if he had no friction.

_« You want another one or, you ... want to go further »_

I breathe hard, and i try to answer with my shaky voice.

_« I ahmmmm ..... maybe if youuuu oh god Jean «_ I think he just hit my protest judging by how it felt good _« i.....mmmmmh »_ I moan loudly incapable to finish what i was saying.

I took a deep breathe, trying to concentrate and finish my sentence.

_« Maybe hmm ... if you aaaah put enough lube, it ...fuck just here .... it's ok like that »_

And then he retire his fingers. I groan, annoyed by the loss. I was lost in my frustration and then i realize that Jean was looking at me extremely embarrassed and red.

_« Can you .... eeeeh, help me with that ? »_

He points the condoms on the nightstand. With that all my self confidence was back.

_« Sure »_ I said with a smirk.

I grab one of the condom and oppened it. I put it on the head of his hard maybe too hard member and decide to unroll it with my mouth. He groan and tilt his head back.

_« Awww fuck you Eren »_

_« That's what's coming »_

_« Shut up «_

Then i grab the lube again and put a lot on his dick. I put some on my finger too, and i lube my hole again, making sure that it will slide easily. I align myself to his dick and slowly, very slowly start to bend down. The moment the tip entered me i thought i was gonna break. It hurt, it really hurt, but at the same time i want more, i want to feel him deeper. So i continue taking him in, inch by inch, making some pause to adjust myself. Jean didn't move in the process, he probably saw that he better not move. He just watched me slowly push him in and tried to stop his moan, but totally fail. He is finally full in, and god the sensation is fucking good, but i still don't move, waiting for adjust entirely and not hurt myself. We both heavy breathing.

_« God you're tight .. i... don't know how i .. didn't come yet »_

I didn't answer, i just started to move my hips against his, slowly, going a little bit faster a each thrust, and he catch the hint and started to meet my thrust. We can probably hear our moan and the sound of our skin slamming together in all the basement but we didn't care at the moment, that's too good. Suddenly he decide to change our position, in a few second he his on top of me, pounding deeper and faster, trying to hit my prostate and god he found it. I moaned loudly, loud as i never thought i could make so much noise, loud that i thought i wouldn't have voice the three next days. He thrusted in this spot, again and again, and he licks my neck, bitting and sucking it. He probably let a tone of hickeys, but i don't care anymore. He moan a lot too, but i'm probably the loudest of us.

_« Jeannn i'm ... i'm gonna .... aaaaah »_

_« Come for me, i'm close too »_

I do as he said, white liquid covering our both chest as my entier body shaking. I think my ass tightened because he groans and tremble deep in my ass. He gave one last thrust before pulling out.

_« God Eren, that was ... that was WoW »_

_« Yeah that was awesome »_

He was ready to sleep.

_« Wait Jean .. you have to ... pull this off »_

I helped him remove the condom of his dick and threw it in the trash can.

_« You have some tissu »_

He tend me a pack of it. I cleaned myself and help him to clean himself, because he is fucking lazy just now.

_« Eren, can we .. sleep naked ... is this ok? »_

_« Yeah sure »_

I threw the tissues and then i slide myself in his arms. He is warm, i like being in his arms like this. I love him, but i'll not tell him, because if i do, i would never be able to sleep like this, because he probably would reject me.

_« Good night Jean »_

_« Good night »_

He kissed me on the forehead and we quickly fall asleep.


	17. Tell me your feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so sorry for this looooong wait. I had the end of my fic since some month but i just couldn't find a way to relate my last chapter and this one.  
> So this is the last chapter, i hope you'll like it.  
> Please tell me what you think of this fic, i'm always very happy to read comments   
> Now, good reading

** Eren POV **

 

It was really relaxing to woke up in his arms. I’d like to woke up like this every morning, like two lovers and not like two fucking buddies. But we are not lovers, Jean would never be like that with me, never, and it hurt to remember that fact. I forced myself to get up, leaving the heat of Jean’s body. He groans and opened his eyes, catching my hands-

 

_« Where are you going? »_ He asks with a sleepy voice.

_ « Well it’s morning, i need to take a shower and get dressed, we have training in one hour, you should get up too »  _

_ « Why don’t we say we are sick and stay in the bed all day » _

_ « We can’t »  _

 

I took back my hand, i put my boxer, took my clothes and headed to the bathroom. When i came back Jean was fully clothed and waiting for me to go to eat. Then we went out to our training. All of us were waiting to start, but Levi and Erwin were making a speech, and it was boring. I sigh loudly, and turned my head to look at Jean, still remembering him naked.

 

_ « What are you looking at? » _

_ « Nothing »  _

_ « So stop looking me like this you gay shit » _

_ « Gay shit, are you fucking serious? » _

_ « Yes i am »  _

 

I grabbed his collar

 

_ « Don’t you dare calling me gay shit again horse face » _

_« I’m not a horse »_ He shout a little louder.

 

I looked around us, to see that a bunch of people had turned their attention to us and then i felt his fist on my face.

 

_ « You’re gonna regret this you shit » _

 

I jumped on him, making us both fall on the ground, me on top of him, and i returned his hit. When he finally connected two of this stupid neurone he tried to take over but i didn’t let him. 

 

_ « Get out of me you bitch » _

 

I answer with a second hit on his face. I already can’t remember who started that or even why we were fighting, but it was always like this with him. Even if we start our little fun session in the bed, even if i realized that i love him we keep fight. He finally found the force to flip me and take the control. He was ready to punch me, and i closed my eyes, waiting for his hand hitting my nose, but it never append. Instead i felt his lips against mine, he … he was kissing me. I was lost in the kiss when i heard Mikasa yell and felt the weight of Jean’s body leave mine.

 

_ « Don’t touch Eren you gay shit »  _

 

And she punch him, throwing him flat on the ground. I gathered my thought and get back to my feet.

 

_ « Mikasa stop » _

_« Why ? «_  She was ready to punch him again   _«  He hit you and he kiss you, since when do defend him? »_

_ « Since ...» _

_ « Give me a good reason to stop beating him »  _

_ « Because i love him » _

 

I saw her surprise look, and the look of some people who were paying attention to us, and then .. then i realized what i just said.

 

_ « Shit … fuck «  _

 

I run away, far away from them, far away from Jean, because now, he would never see me again.

 

 

** Jean POV **

 

I didn’t have the time to understand what’s going on. The kicks, the kiss, and being threw on the floor by Mikasa, and then … then Eren saying … did the fight make me hallucinate ? or he really just say that …. he loves me. I was completely lost in my thought when Armin voice make me go back to reality.

 

_ « Jean, what are you doing, go after him ! » _

 

He was holding back Mikasa to run after Eren. I turn my head everywhere, trying to figure out where Eren would run. Then a memory get back to my mind, when he found me crying, talking to Marco. He probably go there. I get on my foot and run after him. And there i found him, insulting, probably himself. When he saw me he try to go away but fail and fall. He tried again but i grabbed his arm

 

_ « Eren, wait » _

_ « If you’re here to say that i’m horrible stupid homo falling in love with his enemy and you don’t want to see me again you can go, i’m fine » He says angrily _

_ «  I’m not here for that, i mean, i’m here for what you said, but i won’t, i would never tell you to go away from me » _

 

He finally looked at me.

 

_ « Eren listen, i’m probably not ready to tell you that i … i …you know, but i really like being around you, even if we still fight. I like to sleep with you and doing all this things. It’s not just sex, because if it was i wouldn’t do it with you. But, i’m ok being with you and i’m really fine to you being in love with me » _

 

He seems surprise. I felt stupid for what i just said, i never been good at socializing, but i had to tell him the truth.

 

_ « You really think what you just said ? » _

_ « Yeah .. i won’t leave you Eren, and promise me you won’t do it too »  _

_ « I promise, i’ll be here forever for you, i love you Jean » _

_ « I …. i …. i love you too » _

 

Yeah i said it, i think it, and i would say it to him every day of our life. And then we kiss, the more romantic kiss we ever had. I love him, i fucking love him and i don’t know why i took so much time to realize it.

_____

** END **


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